What If Coaching Isn’t Just for Coaches?
Last week, I shared how coaching reshaped the way I lead—not just in my work with clients, but in everyday conversations.
It’s one thing to learn how to ask powerful questions in a coaching session. It’s another to notice someone pulling back in a meeting and know how to gently bring them back in.
It’s one thing to learn how to hold space. It’s another to sit with a friend who’s having a hard day and resist the urge to fix everything for them.
That’s the real impact of coaching.
It teaches us how to be with people more thoughtfully, more fully, and more compassionately—especially when things feel messy or unclear.
I promised I’d follow up this week with some of the simple tools and questions that have made a meaningful difference in my conversations, whether I’m coaching a client, talking with my family, or supporting a friend.
And I want to remind you, you do not have to be a coach to use these tools.
I think we sometimes assume that coaching is only for people who want to build a business or work with paying clients.
But the truth is, coaching is a way of seeing and supporting people.
It’s a skill set that helps you show up with more curiosity and less controlling energy.
A perspective that invites reflection instead of rushing to a solution.
And it’s a practice that builds trust—not just in others, but in yourself.
Here are a few of the foundational coaching tools I return to again and again:
Ask Before You Assume
We all tell ourselves stories about what we think other people are thinking or feeling.
They seem distant, so we assume they’re frustrated.
They don’t respond to our idea, so we assume they didn’t like it.
But coaching teaches us not to collapse curiosity into assumption.
Instead of automatically filling in the blanks for someone, try asking:
What’s on your mind right now?
Is there anything you’d like to say but haven’t yet?
How are you really feeling about this?
These aren’t fancy-coach questions. They’re simple conversation openers.
They signal that you are invested in creating connections where people feel seen and heard, rather than using assumptions as a way to keep conversations closed.
Reflect, Don’t Redirect
When someone shares something vulnerable, our instinct is often to reassure them or offer a piece of advice.
But more often, people don’t want a perfect answer. They need someone willing to stay with them in the feeling.
You can try saying:
That sounds like it was really hard.
I can see why that left you feeling unsure.
It makes sense that you’d be struggling with that.
You’re not trying to take the emotion away and dismiss their experience. You’re saying, I’m here. I get it. You’re not alone.
This empathetic approach builds more trust than any advice you could give.
Ask What They Need
One of the simplest and most powerful coaching questions I use in my conversations with my 21-year-old daughter, my team, and my clients is:
What do you need right now?
It seems so obvious, but most people never get asked that question.
They’re told what they should do.
Offered solutions or strategies. And lot’s of opinion or worse, lot’s of judgment.
Or they’re encouraged to move on, and please do so quickly.
But rarely are they invited to pause, check in, and respond with what would actually feel supportive.
Whether you’re leading a team, raising kids, supporting a friend, or simply trying to be more present in your relationships, this one question can shift everything.
I believe deeply that coaching belongs to more people than we think.
It’s not just a job or a title.
It’s a way of relating, listening, and leading.
And the more of us who learn how to hold space for others’ lived experience, ask meaningful questions, and stay with what’s real—the more connected our work, our families, and our communities become.
You Don’t Have to Be a Coach to Learn Coaching
If you’ve been reading these newsletters and wondering whether coaching skills might help you in your work or life, even if you never plan to take on clients, I want to personally invite you to check out my Golden Coaching Certification.
It’s not just for aspiring coaches.
It’s for:
People who lead others and want to do it with more emotional intelligence and clarity about human behavior.
Anyone who wants to listen better, respond more thoughtfully, and navigate hard conversations with more grace.
Those who care about growth and want to build a skillset that supports both results and relationships.
Enrollment is open now, and I’d love to support you in developing these powerful, human-centered skills.
Coaching isn’t just something I do. It’s changed how I show up in every area of my life.
If you’re curious about whether this work is right for you, click here to learn more about the Golden Coaching Certification.
And as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts—what’s one conversation you’re approaching differently after this series?
With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.
