When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Clients
I had a coaching session a couple of weeks ago that I can’t stop thinking about.
It was one of those conversations where something subtle shifted for my client. I couldn't quite put words to it, yet could feel it.
I closed the Zoom room and carried her with me into the rest of my day. Not in a heavy way. Not in a “why can’t I let this go?” way.
In a connected way. A love-soaked way.
Later that evening, while I was cooking dinner and listening to a playlist I’ve heard a hundred times, I paused mid-stir-at-the-stove.
There it was.
A thought. Followed by an image. Then, an insight about what we had just unearthed together. Something I hadn’t seen earlier when I was sitting in “coach” mode, but was now fully landing in the quiet of my kitchen, with pesto shrimp simmering and Noah Kahan playing in the background.
So I jotted it down on the back of last night’s Scrabble score sheet, tucked it into my journal, and brought it back to our next session.
And it cracked something open in the most beautiful way.
I used to think I wasn’t supposed to carry my clients with me like this.
I believed that “boundaries” meant keeping my client work contained within the session, the schedule, and the coaching office.
And yes, energetic and emotional boundaries are vital. (I’m not talking about codependency, over-functioning, or rescuing.) But the belief that we must fully shift gears and stop thinking about clients once we’ve “clocked out” as coaches?
I don’t buy it, and likely, I never did.
In fact, some of my most intuitive and aligned coaching ideas have emerged after the session is over.
When I’m walking on the beach in the morning, here in St. Thomas.
When I’m watering the gardens on a quiet Sunday afternoon.
When reading a piece of writing, it changes the cells in my body because it’s so good.
When I’m halfway through a yoga session and suddenly see a pattern a client can’t yet name.
These moments aren’t signs that I’ve failed to disconnect.
They’re evidence that I’m deeply connected to this work. To my people. To my purpose.
I want to share this with you:
It’s okay if you carry your clients with you into your life.
It’s okay if they sit in the passenger seat while you’re driving to the grocery store.
It’s okay if you whisper a prayer for them during your morning meditation, or tuck their breakthrough into the back corner of your mind while walking your dog.
It’s okay to think of them when something beautiful happens in your life.
When you hear a comment in a podcast interview that you know would speak to them.
When a moment of insight emerges in your own life and you think, “She would absolutely love this.”
This doesn’t mean you’re overextending. It definitely doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It might just mean you’re doing it beautifully.
Because this is what it looks like to keep your coaching practice alive.
To let your clients remain alive in your mind, in your heart, and in your awareness.
Not to fix them. Not to carry their dilemmas with the extra burden that they are yours to solve. But to keep holding their humanity in your care.
To hold them while also trusting them.
To honor the sacred space between sessions, not just with structure and distance, but with depth and connection.
It’s one of the most extraordinary parts of the work we do.
It’s not a flaw in your coaching practice.
It might be the very thing keeping it vibrant and illuminating to you both.
For your reflection:
Who are you carrying with you this week?
Where are the moments in your day when inspiration strikes, after the session ends?
How do you want to hold space for your clients between calls, not from obligation, but from your belief in them?
With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.
