The Sacred Space Between No Longer and Not Yet

Lately, I’ve been stacking up a lot of “in-between” seasons.

One of them looks like launching twenty-something daughters into the world. They don’t need me—but they still kind of need me. They want to do things independently and also want me available the moment something goes sideways.

There’s a memorized feeling in my body from years of being on high alert—always ready to drop anything to take care of a kid. But part of this new season is learning to let them figure things out wholly on their own. And being less available is really, really good for them.

Another in-between: I’ve always been the sibling who lived closest to my parents. For decades, I was their first phone call, just 18 minutes down the coastline in the next town.

Now, living in the Caribbean for my husband’s work, I’m physically the farthest away. And I’m still catching up to that new reality—still identifying as the oldest daughter, the one who was right there, even though that’s no longer true.

These spaces are uncomfortable because I don’t have one foot fully in the old role, or fully in the new one either.

Some days it feels like straddling the Grand Canyon. Other days, it’s just a small sidewalk crack.

But either way, I find myself often asking: Where am I? Am I there, or am I here?

Identity shifts are rarely clean or clear.

How I Ground in the In-Between

When I start to feel that disorientation, I turn toward solitude and contemplation. Not to solve, but to notice:

“Oh, right. I’m standing in two roles.”

I am the attentive mother whose kids once needed her for everything.
And I am the mother of grown women who need her less and less.

Both are true.

So I try to honor the both/and as much as possible.

Sometimes that looks like writing all about it inside my journal. Sometimes I get coaching.

Always giving it the time it needs to unfold—however long that takes.

The Purpose of the Pause

The in-between allows us to honor and celebrate where we’ve been and grieve the letting go.

This sacred middle space offers us a bountiful spectrum of emotions: relief, sadness, nostalgia, excitement, nervousness, openness.

It’s all part of becoming the next versions of ourselves.

If you’re floating between two places right now, I want you to know this:
It’s okay if it feels confusing. It’s okay if it feels like slow, invisible progress.

It won’t last forever. You are moving, even if you can’t really see it or feel it.

You’re in the transition.
You’re in the becoming.

So, take a breath.
Let this be enough for today.

And if you want to sit with it a little longer, here are a few reflections that might meet you where you are:

Reflection Prompts:

• What part of you is ready to be thanked, honored, or released from an old role?

• What whispers of your “next becoming” can you already feel—even if you can’t name them yet?

• What would it look like to treat this in-between as a sacred season in its own right?

Please remember: you’re allowed to linger here. You’re allowed to take your time.
Because the woman you’re becoming is already on her way, and now is the moment when you’re finally getting acquainted.

With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.