The Hidden Cost of “I Should Be Grateful”
And I see this all the time in conversations with friends and clients.
Those who talk themselves into being grateful for marriages that quietly leave them feeling unseen and unappreciated.Those who tell themselves they should be grateful for jobs, with all the perks and benefits, that require them to always be “on” and available, living in constant reaction mode.
Women who have built beautiful, rewarding lives and still feel restless, disappointed, or unfulfilled.
They search for words that sound like gratitude to explain how they should be feeling. But their bodies and facial expressions tell a different story.
The Myth of “Everything’s Fine”
When someone asks how you are, do you answer before you've actually checked in with yourself? Do you feel a subtle tightening in your body, a clenching, a bracing, right before you say "fine"? Have your closest people stopped asking how you really are, because they've learned that "fine" is all they'll get? Do you feel safer when no one knows what's actually going on inside you?
The Sacred Space Between No Longer and Not Yet
If you’re floating between two places right now, I want you to know this:
It’s okay if it feels confusing. It’s okay if it feels like slow, invisible progress.
It won’t last forever. You are moving, even if you can’t really see it or feel it.
You’re in the transition.
You’re in the becoming.
The Quiet Restlessness You Can’t Ignore
Have you accomplished things you once dreamed about and found that the satisfaction was shorter-lived than you expected? Do you find yourself looking at other women who seem lit up by their lives and wondering what they know that you don't? Is there a creative dream, a contribution, or a way of being that you've been carrying for years but never given yourself permission to pursue? Do you feel like you have more to give than your current life is asking of you? When someone asks "how are you," do you say "good" or "busy" and mean it as a way to close the conversation rather than open it?