What the Millionaires Taught Me About Wonder
I remember sitting in that mastermind a year ago and feeling like the new kid at school.
There were five of us at the table. Four of them were multi-multi-millionaires. Known names in the coaching and online marketing world. Women who have built rare, extraordinary businesses. Women whose work I deeply admire.
I was very aware that I was the least experienced entrepreneur in the room. I wasn't intimidated—not exactly—but I was in awe.
What Struck Me Most Wasn't Their Revenue. It Was Their Delight.
These women were genuinely excited about their businesses. They were generating ideas, constantly writing in their notebooks, lighting up with possibility. Everything they said sounded like:
"Oh, that's a great idea, I could expand on that!" "Cool, I think I'm going to try this!" "I'm excited to explore that approach!"
Their ideas opened doors to possibilities.
Meanwhile, inside my head, I could hear my familiar thinking:
"How would you even do that?" "I don't know how to figure that out." "That seems hard." "I don't have the infrastructure for that." "I'm not ready for something like that."
I watched myself instinctively start shutting ideas down. Closing doors of possibility. (That reflexive shutdown is exactly what I explored in "The Thought I Didn't Know Was Making Me Miserable.")
Not because I didn't want them. Or because I didn't care. But because I was so used to approaching new challenges with heaviness and a feeling of being burdened by them. With this subtle, familiar "I probably can't."
As the 5 of us worked through a guided 10-year planning exercise together, there was a page in the workbook with a simple word list. Dozens of possible emotional states we could choose as our guiding feeling for the next 10 years.
My eyes landed on one word.
Wonder.
And I circled it. Then circled it again. And again.
What Is a Wonder Mindset?
A wonder mindset is approaching a challenge with curiosity and anticipation instead of pressure and dread — trading "how will I ever figure this out?" for "I wonder how I'll figure this out." It doesn't pretend the uncertainty away. It changes your relationship to it, so your mind opens toward possibility instead of bracing against risk.
I didn't want to build my business through gritted teeth. Or approach inevitable skill-building through dread. I no longer wanted "how will I ever figure this out?" to be my nervous energy.
I wanted wonder. The childlike, curious, playful, imaginative kind. The kind where you try something new, not with fear…but with anticipation.
Like: "I wonder if it will be easier than I think to figure out the next step." "I wonder what I'll create next." "I wonder how this will unfold." "I wonder what new idea I haven't even thought of yet."
Because here's what I realized in that room: Their mindset wasn't more advanced—it was more available.
They had access to possibility, excitement, and innovation. While I was operating from caution, carefulness, and perfectionistic pressure. It wasn't that they were fearless. It was that they were open.
Research on curiositybacks this up: curiosity broadens our thinking, helps us tolerate uncertainty, and opens us to more options, while pressure and threat narrow our focus to defense and self-protection. Wonder isn't just a nicer feeling. It literally gives your brain more to work with.
I came back to this again in a conversation with Suzy Rosenstein on the Women in the Middle podcast, where we talked about thoughtful, legacy-minded entrepreneurship for visionary women. So much of building something that lasts, especially in midlife, isn't about hustling harder. It's about staying open enough to keep wondering what's possible.
What Happened When I Started Using Wonder
I started experimenting with inserting wonder:
Instead of: "How am I going to figure this out?" I said: "I wonder how I'll figure this out." Instead of: "This seems really complicated." I said: "I wonder how this might be easier than I think." Instead of: "I don't know what I'm doing." I said: "I wonder what I'm about to learn."
And something began to shift.
When I used to approach a challenge with obligation, I'd brace, shrink, and question myself. But now, when I bring in the energy and feeling of wonder, my mind expands. My intuition wakes up. My creativity gets curious.
Because I've found that my brain can't resist the imaginative playground of wonder. It starts looking for possibilities. It reorients toward: "There is a way and I can't wait until we find it." (This is the opposite of the exhausting mental spinning I wrote about in "Why I Couldn't Think My Way Out.")
It doesn't eliminate uncertainty. Instead it softens it. And it doesn't solve everything. It opens up and activates delight.
How to Know If Pressure Has Replaced Possibility
If you're not sure whether you've slipped into dread-mode, sit with these:
When a new idea shows up, is your first internal response "how would I even do that?"
Do you brace before you begin, as if the challenge is a burden to survive rather than a question to explore?
Does your inner dialogue sound like "I have to get this right" and "I should have figured this out by now"?
Do you shut ideas down before you've let yourself wonder about them?
When was the last time you approached something hard with actual curiosity?
If you recognized yourself, you're not lacking ambition or ability. You're just running on pressure. And pressure can be traded, one sentence at a time, for wonder.
Play With Wonder This Week
And maybe, like me, you'll notice your eyes brighten a little. Your thoughts become kinder and your optimism tiptoes back in.
And you remember that you are not walking into the hard, unknown spaces alone. Your creativity is with you. Your intuition is with you. Your inner wisdom is with you. (If you're standing at the edge of something new and can't see the whole path, you might also love "When You Can't See the Path Ahead.")
This week, I'd love to invite you to play with wonder. Just as an experiment. Try "I wonder…" on something that feels heavy, frustrating, or overwhelming. And notice how it feels.
If you'd like to see what's been running underneath the pressure, answering these six questions is a gentle place to start. If you want to dive deeper into coaching this way—with gentleness, curiosity, and compassion—I'd love to talk. Book a free call.
With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.
About Katie Pulsifer
Katie Pulsifer is a Master Certified Life Coach for high-achieving women over 40 who have built great-looking lives and know it's not enough anymore. She helps women stop prioritizing everyone else, figure out what they actually want, and start creating a life that feels as great as it looks, without blowing up the life they've already built. Katie's coaching is grounded in neuroscience, radical self-responsibility, and the belief that your worth is inherent, not earned.
