3 Questions to Ask Before You Hire a Coach
Before you hire a life coach, ask them three questions. How much flexibility and customization is in your program, or is it one size fits all? Have you done this work on yourself, and are you still doing it? Who is not a good fit for you? Then read their testimonials and look for where people are a year later, not how they felt on the last day of the program.
I've trained more than 4,000 coaches over 13 years, and these are the questions I'd want anyone to ask before they sign anything. They work whether you're comparing two coaches or wondering if a chatbot could do the job instead.
Why is it so hard to know which coach to hire?
I've heard this so many times from people who came to work with me after hiring a different coach first. They tell me, very honestly, that they got completely caught up in everything the other coach's program promised.
They got caught up in the detailed curriculum and the modules and every single step being completely outlined. It made them feel like they were buying a really legitimate program from a very, very qualified coach.
And of course, there are plenty of qualified coaches delivering legitimate programs. But more often than not, offerings packed with too much content can miss the most critical part of a high-quality coaching relationship. That's really getting to know the client in front of you.
Choosing is getting harder, too. Nearly half of U.S. adults now use AI chatbots, up from a third in 2024, according to the Pew Research Center. More than a quarter bring AI their personal, emotional and social questions, the Washington Post reported in September. And coaching requires no license, so anyone can call themselves a coach.
That's why the questions you ask before you hire someone matter so much.
Question 1: How much flexibility and customization is in your program?
Or is it one size fits all? I'd ask this first, because an excellent coach knows when to pitch the curriculum out the window instead of steering a client to stay on it no matter what.
A client who needs to spend more time learning how to process emotions should be able to get that from their coach. They shouldn't be held to a predetermined schedule that couldn't anticipate what they'd need as their real life was unfolding.
I know this because I did it myself in the beginning. When I was in my coach certification and practicing, I followed a curriculum and stayed very much on track, and it became all about me delivering the program I promised.
The more coaches I've trained and the more human beings I've worked with, the more I realize we can have the best intended plans for what a client needs. Until we're in that coaching conversation, until we know their struggles and their deep desires and dreams, and how their daily life influences their thinking, we don't know what they really need.
So I hold a plan. I have the outline. I've been doing this so long that I have so many tools and resources, and I can see the path to the result a client wants. But I don't grip it too tightly, and I'm willing to throw out the script the moment I sense they need something different from me.
What does this client need from me today? What would help them the most? I bring those questions to every single session of my private coaching, and I'm customizing and recustomizing with them every single week.
Listen for that when you talk to a coach. Notice whether they talk mostly about their modules or mostly about you.
Question 2: Have you done this work on yourself, and are you still doing it?
A coach who has done their own work knows what it feels like to want something and talk themselves out of it. They’ve felt their own self-doubt and their own resistance to change, so they won't be surprised by yours. Even though they may not have your same lived experience, a coach who prioritizes their own coaching understands not just theoretically how the brain tries to keep us safe by making anything uncertain feel dangerous, including that next big goal you want to go after.
Ask whether they still work with a coach themselves. I do. Thirteen years in, I still bring my limiting beliefs and behavior patterns to a coach to help me sort out. As much as I know this work inside and out, I know my coach can help me move faster and think more clearly so I can create the exact life I want.
Question 3: Who is not a good fit for you?
A good coach can answer this right away. If their answer is that everyone is a fit, keep asking questions.
Knowing who they don't serve tells you they know who they do serve. It also tells you they'll be honest with you, even when honesty costs them a client.
I'll give you mine. I'm not a good fit for someone who wants me to hand them a plan and tell them what to do. My work is helping people figure out what they actually want, and that takes your thinking as much as mine.
What should you look for in a coach's testimonials?
Look for testimonials about where people are a year later, not how they felt on the last day of the program. Most people feel great on the last day. You want the results to last longer than the payment plan.
When you read a coach's reviews, notice whether their clients are describing a change they're still living.
Can AI be your life coach?
I use AI, and I find it useful. AI is for the how. It is never for the what.
It can help you write the email, plan your week or sort through your notes. It can't tell you what you want. When people bring AI their biggest life questions, it can feel like you end up with a carbon copy of a carbon copy of yourself.
AI isn't reading body language or listening for what's left unsaid. It can't regulate a human nervous system or hold space without judgment. A confidence gap, an intuition gap, a self-trust gap? That is inner work, self-coaching, that you have to do yourself. It's the same reason I believe you cannot outsource knowing yourself.
Presence is the part no program or chatbot can fake. I talked about it with Trista Guertin on the Ask A Coach podcast, in a short episode on coaching with presence and why a coach's job is to honor your own wisdom instead of trying to fix you.
How do you know if a coach is right for you?
After your first conversation with a coach, ask yourself:
Did they ask about my life before they told me about their program?
Did I feel listened to?
Could they tell me who they don't work with?
Do they still work with a coach themselves?
Are their clients still talking about the change a year later?
And if you're not sure yet what you'd even want a coach to help you with, start by figuring out what you actually want. If you're a coach weighing a certification, I've answered the questions I'd ask on my Golden Coaching Certification page.
Want to see what it's like to be coached by me?
Start with six honest questions. Answer them, and I'll send you a personal voice memo back.
And if you already know you're ready for private coaching, connect with me here.
With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.
Katie Pulsifer is a Master Certified Life Coach for high-achieving women over 40 who have built great-looking lives and know it's not enough anymore. She helps women stop prioritizing everyone else, figure out what they actually want, and start creating a life that feels as great as it looks, without blowing up the life they've already built. Katie's coaching is grounded in neuroscience, radical self-responsibility, and the belief that your worth is inherent, not earned.
Katie was recently featured on Yahoo! Finance, AP News and Business Insider.
