When My Confidence Hit Rock Bottom

I want to share more about my coaching journey with you so you can get to know me better and perhaps learn from my lessons if you're going through something similar.

And if you're not a coach, you'll likely relate to my story also, because self-doubt is something many of us struggle with — in a new role, a promotion, a business, or any moment you level up.

The moment I started experiencing a life-altering transformation at 45 years old after working with a life coach, I knew I was destined to become one myself.

Every aspect of my life was changing (for the better), and I wanted more than anything to help others experience the same thing.

I started my coaching business in March 2015 without formal training or certification, just three years of being a client, and massive determination.

My passion for personal transformation was like rocket fuel. I put myself out there. I told everyone I was a life coach. I shared my transformation story with anyone who would listen. I hosted four-person workshops in my home on Sunday mornings, attended brown bag lunch networking events, and set up a booth at Maine Yoga Fest.

I signed clients and made money. I was thrilled, and I was living my DREAM LIFE!

I started reading coaching how-to books, listening to podcasts, and researching certifications. I went to coach training in early 2016 and devoured the curriculum materials. I was so hungry for coaching tools, session guidelines, and worksheets.

And then my confidence tanked. It took a severe nosedive. So did my income.

I made less money in 2016 than in eight months of 2015 and even less in 2017. I was so ashamed. I didn't understand what was happening. I seriously contemplated going back to my corporate job.

I never in a million years expected to feel less sure of myself after certification than before.

Why Confidence Drops Right After You Level Up

It wasn't until a few years later, while working for the school that trained me, that I started to understand what had happened to my confidence in those early years, because I could see the exact same thing happening to some other coaches.

They, like me, fell into three traps:

First, over-consumption. They got overwhelmed with all the training tools and techniques. They were so excited that they tried to learn everything as fast as possible.

Second, the "one right way" trap. They fell into the sticky trap of believing there's only one "right way" to coach, and became paralyzed with fear that they'd screw it up when they finally had a real client.

Third, compare and despair. They became hyper-fixated on external validation, comparing themselves to other coaches and always looking outside of themselves for approval on their coaching technique, offer, pricing, and website. Getting sucked into believing that they should be further along, have more clients, and have more success. Then beating themselves up for it, and using those amazing coaching tools against themselves.

None of this is a sign that you're not good enough. It's what the impostor phenomenon actually looks like from the inside: the more you learn, the more you can see, and the easier it becomes to feel behind. Confidence dips exactly when your standards rise faster than your evidence.

This isn't only a coaching thing. I talked about it with Amelia Noël on Breaking Free From the Grind, in an episode about mastering confidence in high-pressure corporate careers. The traps are identical whether you're a brand-new coach or a capable woman in a demanding corporate role: you over-consume, you chase the "right" way, and you compare yourself to everyone in the room.

What I Learned From a Front-Row Seat to Thousands of Coaches

In my five and a half years working at the school, I was fortunate enough to be exposed to thousands of students and certified coaches. I got a front-row seat for their journeys.

While I hated to see so many of them making it unnecessarily harder for themselves, it did provide an incredible opportunity to observe these behavior patterns.

I saw what got in the way of coaches who struggled with self-doubt: over-consuming, perfectionism, and compare and despair. (Those same three drains show up inside sessions, too — I break them down in "5 Coaching Mistakes That Drain Your Energy.")

And I saw what confident coaches had in common. I could even see which coaches would develop sustaining coaching confidence even before they could see it themselves.

This knowledge allowed me to finally feel deep compassion for the 2016 and 2017 versions of myself, who became intimidated by the tools, questioned my abilities, compared myself to everyone else, and was deep in shame.

How I Rebuilt My Confidence (and How You Can Too)

That compassion became a new kind of rocket fuel for me. I kindly investigated my self-doubt, gently excavated the root causes, upgraded my belief systems, doubled down on my intuition, and carefully implemented new supportive practices that I knew worked for me.

My coaching confidence started to soar.

Here's the shift underneath all of it: confidence didn't come from adding more tools. It came from slowing down enough to trust the ones I already had. (That's the whole argument of "The Bravest Thing You'll Do Is Slow Down.") It also came from being willing to show up before I felt ready — the exact muscle I write about in "Lights, Camera, Self-Doubt Drama."

I feel so grateful for all I have been through and learned. It motivates me to help as many coaches as I can believe deeply in themselves, trust their wisdom and instincts, and treat themselves impeccably.

For the past 5 years (and counting), I've guided coaches in breaking negative self-doubt patterns and stepping unapologetically into sustaining confidence. Because I've been there and seen what self-doubt and shame cost us.

How to Know If Self-Doubt Is Running the Show

If you're not sure whether these patterns are quietly steering you, sit with these:

• Do you keep buying courses and consuming content, hoping the next one will finally make you feel ready?

• Are you afraid there's a single "right way" and you're doing it wrong?

• Do you compare your behind-the-scenes to everyone else's highlight reel and come up short?

• Did your confidence actually drop after you got more qualified, not before?

• Do you use the very tools you've learned as evidence against yourself?

If you recognized yourself, you're not broken and you're not behind. You're in the predictable dip that comes right when you level up. And it's the most workable thing in the world. (Not sure coaching skills are even "for you"? Start with "What If Coaching Isn't Just for Coaches?" or "How to Become a Life Coach.")

The world needs us to figure this out. To ditch trying to be perfect and right all the time. To stop waiting for external validation and over-qualifying ourselves. To start using confidence as rocket fuel to show up and serve.

You ready?

If you'd like support building sustaining confidence, book a free call and we'll find your next step together, or learn more about the Golden Coaching Certification, where deepening your coaching confidence is the whole point.

With immense appreciation & gratitude. Always.

About Katie Pulsifer

Katie Pulsifer is a Master Certified Life Coach and the founder of the Golden Coaching Certification Program™, a life coach training program for women who want to learn how to compassionately coach themselves and others to create extraordinary results. With over 13 years of experience — including five years as an executive leader at The Life Coach School — she helps coaches break self-doubt patterns and step into sustaining confidence. Katie's work is grounded in neuroscience, radical self-responsibility, and the belief that your worth is inherent, not earned.